Aubrey's Visit

Nothing is Impossible

As I open my heart and eyes more and more to see God working in my life, I am amazed at the unique way that He puts all of the pieces together. From the crazy twisting of events that led my mom to her early detection of lung cancer to the amazing life changes that Brad and I have been through over the past two years on our spiritual walk, God is definitely at work. And last week He gave me the best gift - it was exactly what I needed. In fact, He used a negative situation for someone else to encourage me in a way that I thought was impossible.

Out of the blue, I got a text message from Aubrey that she and Jarrod were on their way into town. How does He do it? I had been quietly sulking for a couple of weeks, wishing that I could somehow spend some time with Aubrey. It is hard to explain through words the kind of friendship that we have. Throughout college we spent practically every waking moment together. But more than that, we seem to have an unspoken understanding. She can finish my sentences for me, we thrive on each other's sarcasm, and we always seem to reconnect like no time is lost even when months go by without seeing each other. She and Jarrod live in Illinois, though, and it seems like we are lucky if we get to see each other once a year. So I sulked, wishing that I could see her, but knowing that it was impossible because of the distance between us.

What I didn't consider was that NOTHING is impossible with God. You see, Aubrey and Jarrod are also being challenged now with some very difficult decisions. In fact, they are struggling with a very similar situation to where Brad and I were a year and a half ago. And so God once again took a negative situation and used it for good. While seeking God's plan for their future, He brought Aubrey and Jarrod to Texas for a couple of days. We were able to spend a few hours together talking, laughing, and catching up. And most importantly we were able to spend time sharing our struggles and praying together. It was a time of healing and of comfort. What an awesome God we serve!

My Mom . . . the Blogger?

I spent a few hours at my mom's house tonight helping her journey farther into the world of technology. Now that she has texting down, it was time to move on to the final frontier . . . blogging.

She has decided to create a blog page where she can share her journey with friends and family. For those of you who are interested, you can check it out at www.mimijoyce.blogspot.com. She hopes to share her thoughts and feelings up to this point along with updates as she undergoes treatment. So, take a look and (if you have time) leave her a post. I know that your support and prayers will be an encouragement to her.

Feelin' The Love

Lily and I have been back at school for a week now. All of our teachers came back on Monday and (finally) the daycare was open again. My school district actually has daycare for teachers, which has been wonderful the past seven years, especially now that both girls and I are finally on the same campus. One stop in the morning is great compared to the years that I had to drop each girl off at a different campus and then fight the high school traffic to get across town to my own school.

Yesterday morning, after I dropped her off and had started working, two of the teachers came walking down the hall toward me laughing. They also have daughters in the preschool class, and had just come in from dropping them off. They said that while they were out there, I made an announcement over the intercom to the teachers. One of them said to Lily, "Hey, Lily, did you hear your mom talking? Isn't that cool that you can hear her while you are at school?" Lily's response . . . she rolled her eyes and said (completely unimpressed with me), "Yea, that was my mom. She talks a lot." Leave it to my precious three-year-old to show me the love!

While Lily and I have been at school, SuperDad (a.k.a Brad) has been picking up Gracie each morning on his way home from work, (He is working midnight to 8:00 right now.) and watching her all day until I get home. The only problem has been that I haven't been home earlier than 8:00 at night all week. (With a new secretary and office receptionist, life has been pretty hectic trying to get ready for the first day of school.) Needless to say, SuperDad is pretty sleepy today.

My mom has an appointment with her oncologist on Monday. After that we should know the treatment plan and when she will begin chemo. Please continue your prayers for her complete healing and recovery. I am confident that God's warriors are fervently lifting her up and that His healing has already begun.

Mixed Emotions

Alright, I am starting to feel like there is some sort of hormone imbalance going on. One minute I feel elated and hopeful for the future, and the next I am looking for an isolated place to fall apart. What a roller coaster!

Just a few hours ago, I posted about the pathology results for my mom. And honestly, at the time, I felt very hopeful. The news was not ideal, but was still extremely relieving. God is truly at work helping us to catch this cancer very early! I felt good . . . relieved . . . in control of my emotions.

My mom called me a little later and told me that the oncologist had already come by her room to talk to her. He recommends that they wait 4-6 weeks to let her body heal from this surgery and then he will start her on 4 months of chemotherapy.

I knew that this was more than likely what he was going to say. I knew that it was necessary for her to undergo treatment. But when the words came out of her mouth, it was like the world slowed down and everything was in slow motion. Chemo . . . . it makes it feel so real. You would think that the diagnosis last week (which I have already admitted did not go over too well for me) and the major surgery a few days later would have made it feel "real" to me. But the thought of her undergoing chemo (being sick . . . losing her hair) for the next several months cut deeply.

And as I sit here now, letting it all sink in, I still don't know how to express how I feel about it. I don't doubt that God will take care of us. He already has. After all, I am surrounded by an obvious chain of events that have led us to this moment in time. I truly feel God's presence - His comfort and His peace. He has answered prayers - not exactly how I had hoped, but He has delivered her from what could have been a much worse situation. And I praise Him and thank Him for all that He has done. And in the next breath I feel lost, sad, and alone. Such a mix of emotions!

I guess that sometimes you just need a good cry, a big margarita, and a blog page to vent through . . . sorry!

The Results Are In

The doctor came in with the pathology results today. The cancer had barely started to spread to one of the nearby lymph nodes. He said that it was also trying to get into a nearby blood vessel, but hadn't made it through yet. So, they were able to catch it before it had spread too much. What a blessing! She will meet with an oncologist next, who will determine how much and what kind of treatment she will require. The lung doctor said that she would most likely need some sort of chemo (at least) because it had spread some. She is still in the hospital, but may get to go home tomorrow or the next day.

Thanks again to all of you for your continued prayers and support!

Short and Sweet

I thought that I ought to give a brief update on my mom. The surgery went well yesterday - no surprises. The doctor removed the lower left lobe of her lung and the surrounding lymph nodes. He said that the pathology results would be in (hopefully) by Tuesday. These tests will determine if the cancer cells have spread outside of the spot on her lung. She is still in CVICU (not sure what the CV stands for), but was sitting up (sort of) in a recliner tonight. She was awake most of the day today and able to enjoy several visitors. Hopefully she will be moved to a room tomorrow if she continues to recover well.

I will keep you posted between hospital visits. Keep up the prayers!

Mamma Mia! Here I go again . . .

Words cannot express how overwhelmed I am tonight! My mom's surgery is tomorrow morning and, in preperation, she sent out a blanket text to all of her friends inviting them to an impromptu girls' night out. The text read, "Mamma Mia, 5:15 Thursday night at Star Village". (Yes, we "Smith" girls really did love the movie THAT much!) When I showed up, there were three rows of supporters there, and we were the only ones in the theater . . . Isn't God great!?! He gave us a private viewing so that we could laugh and sing together . . . and for an hour and a half forget about the worry of what lies ahead. What amazing friends she has! Even the non musical lover (Who knew there was such a person?) showed up. It was wonderful! And just another reminder of what an awesome God we serve!

And although the past couple of days have been extremely emotional and at times completely overwhelming, I have been reminded time and time again the power of prayer and the amazing peace that comes with being surrounded by God's people. Thanks to all of you - near or far - I feel God's peace raining down on me with each prayer and encouraging word that you offer.

In This Storm

Yesterday was a rough day. My mom's test results came in, and honestly I was completely unprepared for what we found out. I knew that everything was going to be fine. I was convinced that we were going to hear that all was well and would be able to finally put this behind us and move on. After all, we had many people praying for her healing, the doctor who performed the biopsy was fairly confident in what he saw, and I knew that God did not want my mother to have to battle cancer - not now, not while she is still so young. So, my mind was made up that the results would be positive. She would be fine. . .

How quickly things change! She has a malignant tumor on the lower left lobe of her lung. She will go in this Friday to have the lobe and surrounding lymph nodes removed. After that, the doctor will determine what happens next based on what he finds during the surgery.

I'll admit, yesterday was a bad day! I melted. I was shocked. How could this happen? Everything I found on the Internet added to my panic. I couldn't see past the news to do anything but sit and cry. Friends called and sent me text messages as the news spread, but I couldn't respond . . . I didn't know what to say. I finally called Keely, only to sob into the phone, and she and Matt came over immediately. They sat with Brad and I, and talked, and prayed. And suddenly, I felt a hint of peace . . . it's amazing what prayer can do and how God can use people at the right moment to say the right thing to remind you that He is right there. Later we went to my mom's house and were surrounded with a houseful of family friends who showed up to offer food and support. Again, I was reminded of all of the blessings that we have. I have been overwhelmed by the response of people who have contacted me to offer their prayers and support.

Today, the fear has subsided. No, it's not gone, but God has shown me that He has a plan. I don't know where we will go from here. But I do know that we will be alright.

And looking back, it is amazing how this story has unfolded. This "spot" on her lung might have gone undetected for a long time. You see, God has been at work all along. My mom was actually in a car wreck several months ago. She was hit by an uninsured, unlicensed driver and it totaled her truck. At the time, it was a terrible and expensive inconvenience. As a result of the wreck, she began to have shoulder pain and numbness in one arm. She eventually had to have surgery to have a plate put along the top of her spine to repair the damaged disks from the wreck. (Did I mention that this wreck was an expensive inconvenience?) Well, during a pre-op MRI, they noticed a shadow in her lung . . . I have read enough info on the Internet to know that oftentimes, lung cancer is not detected until it is too late. This is because by the time a patient is showing symptoms, it has usually spread and grown. But we caught it early. All because of the uninsured and unlicensed driver - bless her heart!

I love Casting Crowns. One of my favorite songs by them is "Praise You In This Storm". And as I woke up this morning, and felt God's peace, this song immediately began to play in my mind. So, I decided to close with the lyrics to the chorus:

I'll praise You in this storm

And I will lift my hands

For You are who You are

No matter where I am

Every tear I've cried

You hold in Your hand

You never left my side

And though my heart is torn

I will praise you in this storm

I Do

The two little words that couples say as they commit to spending the rest of their life with the person that they love . . . through sickness and in health, in good times and in bad . . . "I do".

But do they really mean it? It seems that I have heard a lot lately about marriages that are in trouble. At church, with groups of friends, and even talking to family members, it seems like somewhere in the conversations are prayer requests for someone's troubled marriage.

Brad and I are in our 9th year together, and we will be the first to admit that there have been good times and bad. It's hard work. And I don't remember anyone warning me about the hard parts when I was single. Or maybe I tuned it out along with the warnings to never eat pizza on a date . . . (it is possible that I made a mess of pizza once upon a time when I ate it). Then we got married and Satan began his attack.

Looking back, Brad and I have come so far. We have soared together above the mountaintops and fought hard to climb out of the valleys. I have watched him grow from a timid guy who occasionally went to church (probably to check out all of the single girls) to a strong leader in our church family. To be quite honest, he has far exceeded my expectations of the possibility of his spiritual leadership in our family and among our friends. Shame on me for limiting what God can do through someone!

And I know that God has amazing things in store for us as we continue together. No, we don't always agree (in fact, some of our friends enjoy watching our battle of wills at times). But "I do" love him through it all . . . in sickness and in health, through the good times and bad . . . And I am confident that he loves me, too! But pray for us and our marriage . . . God knows we need it. And if you are married, it is my prayer that He blesses yours as well.